In which Lin is printing a small paragraph of original work for criticism

When I was a little girl, i used to steal out of the house as quietly as I could in my long white nightdress, taking care to skip the squeaky fourth step and the sticking front door. There was a large wood encroaching on our back garden, sneaking up on us year by year. It was to this wood that I sought refuge in the middle of the night. I had discovered a beautiful clearing in the middle of the wood, years before, when I had still been young enough to allow mum to pigtail my hair every single day. If I lay in the middle of the clearing and didn't turn my head at all, all I could see was a sky of deep indigo blue, little sparkling lights nestled into it; like fairy lights on a christmas tree, full of miracles and wonder. When i looked up at that sky I felt so small, the world felt so indifferent to my presence. And yet, somehow I was comforted, I didn't feel dwarfed or defeated, like the books said i should. I felt like I was a part of something. There was order and beauty and reason,, and I was a part of that. That stability balanced the rest of the chaos.

In which Lin is excited about the new look... pretty pattern

I know, I know, it's pretty right? right. haha.

so I'm excited by material things? I accept and embrace this.

I'm also excited by papery, musty, lovely and old-timey smelling things. Lovely lovely books. I've read a lot this summer, even for me. mmm, I have to say, my favourite has been Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Long as anything but a really really good read, I highly recommend it to anyone who has enough patience to get past the slow bits. It's worth it, I promise. Very moral, I must say. Those who lived selfishly, suffer from their mistakes, those who figured out what "life is about" end up happy. Somehow, it seems realistic though, nobody is a "bad" person but those who make bad decisions have to live with those decisions. A good lesson to learn, i think. I must mention Wuthering Heights in my summer reading monologue. Neither Cathy nor Heathcliffe have a single redeeming quality. not one. It's a little incredible. I can, however, appreciate that it is well written, I just have next to no desire to read it again.

I'm growing quite tired of summer, to tell you the truth, I'm counting down the weeks until September 9th (still six weeks away, if you were wondering). maybe being done in April and having nothing to do for four moths takes a bit of the bloom off the dreams of vacation. I'm ready to go back and start doing something and I am so very excited to start my new classes. I have no idea what they'll be like, but they'll be new, and that is exciting.

In which Lin is surprised at actually enjoying life

Pretty monumental changes have rocked my life for the past few weeks. I realized while doing one of my many yearly vocal competitions that I was absolutely miserable. That, in my opinion, is not a happy place to be. While trying to figure out why I was miserable, I realized something shocking. I hate the idea of making music a career. For me, personally, it does not fit in with the life that I want to lead. A life where I have no time to connect to the world around me, have no time to read a book or watch the news or spend time with my fiance is not the life for me. So I've given it up cold turkey. It's been a bit trying without the 12 step program to pull me through but I'm managing. My biggest challenge has been to convince myself that having fun while I'm working is not slacking off. I actually had the thought that if I switched my major, I would enjoy my classes and that was unacceptable. It took me a few moments to look back on my thought process and realize that it was totally insane. I have to SUFFER!!!!!!!! Not so much. totally ridiculous, I know.

So all in all, things are different.

I feel like my entire outlook on life has shifted. There is nothing wrong with being an everyday hero. I don't have to be a celebrity to make a difference or even to have a worthwhile life. I can take control of my life and my career now, not when I'm 'all grown up'. For goodness sakes, it's as simple as knowing what is going on in the world, decided what you believe in and standing up for it. If no one has the time to care about the world then what kind of mark are we leaving? If all we care about is convenience and how easy we can make our lives than whose life are you making more difficult. Somebody has to provide those ready made solutions for you and would you really wish the life that you are escaping from on anyone else?

Anyway, there is my rant over for the day. Get involved, stand up for what you believe in, leave the world slightly better than it was before.

and, although it sounds horribly cliched, love yourself for who you are with no provisos attached.

In which Lin is a stressed little monkey and speaks of books

Stressed Stressed Stressed.

ok, now on to more important things. I'm currently studying for a music theory exam and feel the need to vent and then to think of other things for a little while. So, here we go, completely separate from music theory... and music in general.

ummm,ok so books. I really really want to read revolutionary road.. I've not yet seen the movie but a friend of mine told me the book was an awesome read, so i wish to do that... currently reading Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. it's taking me a disgraceful amount of time, just because I've been soooo busy but it is so good and so awesome, i absolutely HATE Vronsky, I think he is a selfish jerk. I am also re-reading for the millionth time David Eddings' series The Belgariad, which is a fantasy series. There's nothing exactly ground-breaking about it but it is great and awesome-sauce. actually the Belgariad is fantastic for character studies. as a person who loves reading and writing, The characters are completely amazing, and it's just a great way to study character development. So there.

i love books that make you think about yourself... i also love books that make you really look at the world around you. i think it is so very easy for us all to get caught up in our own lives, you know. We are inevitably the main characters in our own stories but i think it's important to pay attention to how much that story encompasses, there is nothing wrong with being aware of the world outside of your own everyday comings and goings. Speaking of which, I really really want to read Affluenza by Oliver James. It's all about consumerism and how it is the cause of the rise in mental illness and that people who are rich and famous are no happier than anyone else. Even though I don't entirely agree with such a black and white view, i believe that it's really useful to find out whatever you can about the different sides of an argument.

Also I'm really really really into xtc right now (xtc is a band by the by the by) because it's very happy and catchy and awesome sauce. Oh! and she and him, which is a band that my brother introduced to me. The are completely amazing. The soundtrack of my life right now, however is this great american songbook list that my brother and dad made of a whole bunch of different artists doing standards from the 40's and 50's-ish... anyway I should really get back to work (nail biting begins)

yeah, this is really about nothing except allowing myself time to calm down....

pointless blog, haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkzRyHa9a6g&feature=fvst
Completely awesome

Catch up

Busy busy week it's been since I last posted. First week of winter semester and the stress has already begun. to be totally honest though, I sort of enjoy it. I really don't like feeling stagnant and I think it's really important to keep learning all your life. The moment you think you know everything is, I think, the moment when you close your mind to any growth or self-realization. I love learning about anything and everything I can because I love knowing things... if that makes sense. Anyway, enough of that rant.

I'm taking some very interesting classes this semester as electives. Literature of the Americas, which is basically a standard lit course but we're dealing with the different perspectives of the colonization of the "New World", namely, the Europeans (brave new world AND political and social power), the Africans (Captivity and slavery) and the indigenous people to whom this world was not new at all. I'm also taking an Anthropology 101 course which is also really interesting. I suppose these two classes have really made e think about the way people treat each other. The way people can somehow just put blinders on a situation and only see that which will provide the must material gain. I think the idea of entitlement probably sprouts from this ability. I hate that mentality. That people are born better than others or that they have the right to act in any way they see fit. ugh, anyway, if you let me, I could go on about this for days.

I think, for me, the important message to get out of studies like these is not to stand by and watch injustice happen. I say that if you see or hear about anything you disagree with speak out, even on some little tiny level. Don't just stand by and watch it happen. It all boils down to the idea of treating others as you wish to be treated doesn't it? If you don't speak out because it isn't happening to you isn't it quite possible that you will be alone when you are being persecuted? I read something about a week ago, that I'm sure you might have heard before but I thought it was really inspiring so I'm posting it now.

"First They Came" by Martin Niemöller. 

"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me."

Musings for a new year.

A brand new decade.
It's really hard to realize just how much human beings change in the years from 10 to 20. I can't really look back on the past decade and say that I've done anything amazing or life-changing and yet, here is a completely different person typing and working. I can't really berate myself about the past decade, I was, after all, a child, but looking back on those years just makes me more excited about all the time I have left, all the things I have left to do, all the things I can influence in the years to come. Sometimes I think it's really exciting to be young and full of ideas.
I'm really digressing here but this all leads to my objectives for the new decade, the first decade where I'm really capable of making any kind of difference.

This blog will be filled with those ideas, any thought provoking or inspirational things I come across, whether that be a song, an organization, a poem, a piece of art.. I dunno, it could be anything.

I think i will start though with my ideas for the new year.

idea #1: Recycling---> I know this idea has been pounded on our heads so much that many of us are just tired of it but I truly do believe that even just this small change makes a difference... by reusing things and recycling things, we can reduce energy usage, reduce air pollution, reduce water pollution, reduce greenhouse gas emissions and the list goes on and on and on. It's really so simple. I've noticed recently, living without my parents, being in school at the same time tends to make me really lazy when it comes to this kind of stuff. and it's so stupid of me when really, all I have to is stick recyclable things in the box that I put next to my garbage can. So that is one definite important change.

idea #2: Using Local resources ---> As much as possible (and I realize it often isn't possible) going to local farmers markets, or simply farms and getting food from them is #1: cheaper in the long run (maybe not so much in the short... run (?)) #2: Better for the local economy and therefore your quality of life #3: Really quite a lot better for your health (fresh = less factory time and preservatives) Also, a side note, buying things that are free trade, even though they do cost more is really... well it's obvious why that's better, isn't it.

idea #3: Buy used, Save the difference ---> I'm not ashamed to admit that I got this idea while watching the TLC show 18 kids and counting, and it really makes sense. It ties into the whole reuse, recycle idea. Just because someone else has used it before you really does not mean that it is no longer useful. On the contrary, a lot of people tend to get rid of perfectly usable stuff for one reason or another. There are a lot of really nice thrift shops whose proceeds go to charity, or if you need to ease yourself into the idea, there are also some pretty posh used clothing stores out there. Vintage is great; stylish and economical. thumbs up! IT also will save you from ever ever being in debt (barring drastic and unavoidable circumstances, of course) because by following this basic idea you will never "exceed your income" as Mr. Bennett says.

so.. just some random ramblings from me... this seems to be a very environmentally friendly post... nothing wrong with that.

alons-y alonso (if you don't get the reference, just never mind)