Pretty monumental changes have rocked my life for the past few weeks. I realized while doing one of my many yearly vocal competitions that I was absolutely miserable. That, in my opinion, is not a happy place to be. While trying to figure out why I was miserable, I realized something shocking. I hate the idea of making music a career. For me, personally, it does not fit in with the life that I want to lead. A life where I have no time to connect to the world around me, have no time to read a book or watch the news or spend time with my fiance is not the life for me. So I've given it up cold turkey. It's been a bit trying without the 12 step program to pull me through but I'm managing. My biggest challenge has been to convince myself that having fun while I'm working is not slacking off. I actually had the thought that if I switched my major, I would enjoy my classes and that was unacceptable. It took me a few moments to look back on my thought process and realize that it was totally insane. I have to SUFFER!!!!!!!! Not so much. totally ridiculous, I know.
So all in all, things are different.
I feel like my entire outlook on life has shifted. There is nothing wrong with being an everyday hero. I don't have to be a celebrity to make a difference or even to have a worthwhile life. I can take control of my life and my career now, not when I'm 'all grown up'. For goodness sakes, it's as simple as knowing what is going on in the world, decided what you believe in and standing up for it. If no one has the time to care about the world then what kind of mark are we leaving? If all we care about is convenience and how easy we can make our lives than whose life are you making more difficult. Somebody has to provide those ready made solutions for you and would you really wish the life that you are escaping from on anyone else?
Anyway, there is my rant over for the day. Get involved, stand up for what you believe in, leave the world slightly better than it was before.
and, although it sounds horribly cliched, love yourself for who you are with no provisos attached.
